I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
