Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
