I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
