I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
