So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
