how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
