i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
