dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
