People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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