how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
