Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
