when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
