these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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