shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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