If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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