so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
