don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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