I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Holy sore nipples Batman
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
