Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
