are you still at the devil's house?
Just cropdusted the office
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
