Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
