At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
