When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Drake has all the answers
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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