Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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