Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
