hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
