at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the condom got lost in my hair
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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