If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
