PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
And then he peed in my hair
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