6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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