white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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