bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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