I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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