Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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