i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
not ubering you a puppy
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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