She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
