New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
