Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
