I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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