im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just cropdusted the office
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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