dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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