do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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