i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
