my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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