no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize