Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
