lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
