My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
