I seem to have left my pride at pride
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
