So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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