Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
