I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
