Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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